Work has been especially busy lately but the end is in sight and my creative side isn’t satisfied with waxing and moving lots of old and heavy furniture no matter how much it needs to be done. So I’ve been trying to sit at my desk every evening and pound out a few words, thoughts, ideas on the page even if they never make it out into the wider world.
I’m getting more comfortable with the thought that a person has to make a lot of mistakes before they finally pull off a finished product. Whether that be relationships, meals or creative works. There’s a lot of trial and error, let’s throw this up against the wall and see what sticks, happening before something finally jells and it all comes together.
Previously, with my creative time so very limited by family and other responsibilities I was very uncomfortable with just playing around, whether it be with needle and thread or words. I was convinced that every moment needed to be used Productively and every creation had to be Worthy of the time and effort.
As you can probably imagine, that didn’t go very well.
I spent a lot of time being blocked and staring at the screen frustrated or on Friendface or otherwise frittering away the precious moments.
And then life changed.
I over think as a writer.
I ponder ever word to the point where they lose all meaning.
I never finish anything.
I’m trying to leave all that behind in the past with a lot of other baggage. Trying to listen to Mr. Gaiman and JUST FINISH SOMETHING.
The other key to this lock was an article that’s been rolling around in my head about not focusing on accepted submissions but instead on racking up the rejections. Focus on quantity over quality because you’ll eventually get a gem with the former method and the latter just paralyzes.
With the aforementioned problem with finishing things however, it’s tough to come up with something viable to send out.
A friend especially liked a particular post of mine last year and suggested I send it to a specific publication for consideration. I spent ten months emailing the piece into a black hole as directed by their website before resorting to the same friend passing along a paper copy at a publication party. It’s been over two full months since that and I’m thinking I’ll count it as my first official rejection. Just would have preferred a more definitive one on paper or in email.
There’s projects like The Tome that take almost as long as real children from conception to leaving the nest but there’s also a side of me that just wants to whip through something for the fun of it. Something a bit more creative than a post on this page.
Something thrilling and/or full of adventure. That’s the kind of stuff I read. Fluff and nonsense for the most part but very entertaining. I generally don’t like to get bogged down in my reading. I’m already part of a meaty and tragic multi-generational saga, IRL and my writing universe. I want to go Somewhere Else when I read.
I don’t know if I can write like that though.
Then again, I’ve never really tried.
I want to write something quick and dirty.
I want to send the first chunk off into the universe before I’ve figured out how to write the next section let alone how it’s all going to end.
I think I want to write a serial.
Now the thing to determine is whether or not this a viable idea. Or is this particular bit of goo sliding down the wall I just threw it at and leaving slime marks all the way.